


Woah, did I or did I not see that coming?

by 1699CL



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 1stPOV, F/M, First Post, Gen, Lighthearted, god help me, love me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-02-13
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:09:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1699CL/pseuds/1699CL
Summary: I guess it's inevitable now. I can't escape this emotion. My chest is about to explode.Things suddenly clicked.  My heart sped up so fast I’m pretty sure it went over the world’s speed limit (apparently, Germany doesn’t have a speed limit). It felt like I was in a car crash, experiencing a severe whiplash, and my whole life flashing before my eyes. But instead of my life, I saw all the moments I spent with him.





	Woah, did I or did I not see that coming?

**Author's Note:**

> School AU? Not idols AU? I don't know tbh.  
> This is my first post and I'm really nervous about this. I finally finished one fic! Yay!! Please keep in mind that this is in 1stPOV so that means you/reader/character presents the story limited to the character's knowledge of what's going on. 
> 
> Please leave constructive criticism in my inbox (if AO3 has that, I honestly don't know).  
> My tenses are quite all over the place. I'm trying my best to fix it.  
> I hope you enjoy this story as I enjoyed writing it.

When I was nine and my brother was eleven, he invited two of his close friends over namely Kim Woojin and Bang Chan-or Chris, as his friends sometimes call him. They came over a lot but I avoided interacting with them. One day as I was passing by the living room, Chan called me, his hand beckoning me as he calls me by his self-made nickname for me (which is actually just my name added with a -inie). I approached him, still reserved, but he quickly took me by the hand and asked me questions.

He was unexpectedly friendly towards me considering how my brother and I weren’t close. His eyes sparkled as he asked questions about myself, he smiled so brightly that I swear I had to squint my eyes at some point because it was blinding. His voice cheerful as he told me stories about my brother and he always maintained eye contact to show he was interested about what I had to say.

When my brother and Woojin got back from the store, I already adapted to his personality. He came over once a week with Woojin and every time he came over he brought me snacks. Woojin was nice to me too, sometimes he’d join Chan on pampering me.

After a few months of weekly visits, it didn’t matter if my brother invited him over or if Woojin wasn’t with him. Chan visited our house often, too often, that my parents seem to just place him as a permanent member of the household. Three years seemed to go by in a flash and I grew accustomed on having Chan by my side. 

 

In those three years, Chan became my support, my angel. He took me out for meals when I was upset, he pat my head after a long day and tell me I did well. Sometimes, I would even have dinner at their house, but most of all, he held me so tight after I received the news of my brother’s death as if his hug would stop me from falling apart. It did. 

 

A year after my brother’s death, he dropped a bomb on me. He told me his parents were moving back to Australia, his motherland, and not knowing when he’ll be back. I don’t remember much of the conversation. I only remember grasping on his shirt telling him not to go or if he really really REALLY has to, he can take me with him. I only remember how hard I sobbed until I heard him sing to calm me down. I only remembered how he smiled at me and told me I was brave for seeing him off the airport. 

 

Our relationship didn’t fall apart during the first year of him moving back to Australia. We surprisingly kept up well (Thank god there’s only a two hour difference between Australia and Korea). It wasn’t until Chris started high school that other things needed his attention-things that were and _ are _ more important than me. 

* * *

 

Whoever said “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”, that asshole was right. During the time Chris was away, my heart couldn’t settle down. It’s that time, during middle school where crushes were everywhere. I heard stories and descriptions. I thought of the way I felt safe and comforted around him. The way he said my name instantly makes my day. His existence became a blessing to my life.  Somehow the descriptions that my classmate said about love fit like a glove on how I feel about Chris. 

That was the time I realized that I liked Bang Chan. 

**_Like_ ** _ to be accurate, present tense _ because after he graduated from high school in Australia and came back to Korea, my admiration for him never went away. 

When he came back, I gave it my all to get closer to him. He didn’t get awkward with me even after being away from each other for years. I felt relieved yet disappointed because it’s like my status as his younger sibling never changed.

* * *

I’m now eighteen and in my 3rd year of High School. There’s this guy in my class that always had people laughing, Seo Changbin. The weird thing is that he never looked the part. He wore his uniform properly, his hair followed the guidelines, he wore piercings which were a bit intimidating, but his personality is something I couldn’t get. He looked like he had a permanent glare but when he laughs it’s the giggly-5-year-old kind of laugh. 

When I arrived home from school, it felt weird not seeing Chris in our living room, but he stopped by that evening and took me to our favourite ice cream parlour. 

I can’t believe how much he didn’t change. His laugh is still as cheerful as ever. His eyes still formed into crescents when he smiles and still shines like they belong to the sky. Most of all, he still treated me like I was someone special to him. 

“How’s your school life?” He asked me. 

I couldn’t help searching for an interesting memory of today’s events to impress him (even just a little bit). Seo Changbin, the funny guy, appeared in my mind. I told Chris how he’s surrounded by his friends and how he manages to make them laugh with his lame jokes. I told Chris how Seo Changbin felt like he belonged in a My Chemical Romance music video, but did cute gestures. 

Chris smiled as I told him about my classmate. This must be a good sign, right? He kept his smile throughout my story and I couldn’t help feeling accomplish after that. 

Ever since then, I talked about the things that happened to my class. Chris still listened patiently.

“I once saw Seo Changbin getting angry at this lower year. I thought he was bullying him, but it turned out his junior spilled his food on his own uniform and Changbin was scolding him. His junior looked like a squirrel with cute cheeks.”   
  
“There’s a new kid, a year lower than me, Felix. He’s from ‘Stralia like you. I approached him because he looked lost in the cafeteria and was shocked by my accent. I’ve been hanging around you for too long.”  Chris laughed and I felt compelled to tell more.   
  
“Seo Changbin and I are project partners this semester. He might be weird but he’s really smart.”    
  
“Seungmin from choir is improving so fast. I’m jealous.”

I knew that the more I talked, the longer Chris and I can spend together so I tell him everything and anything I could think of. Whenever I mentioned my class, his eyes would have that glimmer of interest. Maybe I talked about about my classmates so much that it became a series? Maybe he finds my korean high school life interesting? 

Whenever he drops me off after a day of hanging out, he would pat my head with an all knowing smile and hug me. It never failed to make me feel that I could take on the world tomorrow. 

* * *

My head has been spinning around since morning. Help. 

It’s only been a two days since our school trip in Japan. It’s a beautiful place, but seeing the anime stuff remind me of Chris too much. We explored Akihabara yesterday. Now, we’re visiting Asakusa temple.   
  


I felt a tap on my shoulder.    
“Hey, are you okay?” I turned and the person turned out to be Seo Changbin. We decided to stick in group for this trip, I formed one with my friend but we weren’t enough so we combined with Changbin’s clique.

  
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said. He didn’t move aside instead he put his forehead on mine. I felt goosebumps from the sudden movement.

“You don’t seem to be having a fever. But you’re more dazed than normal.”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m actually coming down with something? I got a chill just now.” I told him.

His close proximity didn’t bother me at all?

A few months ago, Changbin and I were paired as project partners during Math. This guy is a math genius. I often question myself “What  _ can’t _ he do?” 

We became friends and our go-to partners if there is a project coming up. We just have that ‘academic chemistry’, y’know? We don’t really interact in class unless it’s time to work, but we do spend quality time outside of class. We’ve met up a couple of times just to hang out. The way he dresses is very refreshing. He always looked nice (and smelled nice too, but that’s a secret). 

Seo Changbin is very charismatic and kind. He knows when to be rowdy and when to be a gentleman. Seriously, the boys from our class should learn a thing or two from him. 

“Let’s go-”

“What? Why did you stop?” I asked him. I looked around us ,and our group along with our teacher and tour guide was nowhere to be found. 

“Heol…” I faced Changbin. I saw him pull out his phone “As expected! Binnie binnie is so smart!” 

Changbin let out a small laugh from this and something warm bubbled in my stomach? 

Aish- it’s been happening a lot today, did I eat something wrong? Am I hungry? 

“They’re by the temple already.” I nodded to him. “But after this, we’re allowed to roam around, do you want to try the stalls instead of going up immediately?” 

AS EXPECTED, CHANGBIN KNOWS ME WELL! I nodded again without hesitation. I need to do something about my weird stomach. He let out another melodious giggle and took me by the hand. 

“Let’s go and get some mochi.” 

“Uhhh..Chang-”

“You’ve been spacing out a lot. I’m keeping you close so you won’t get lost.” 

I felt my heart skipped a beat. Oh my god! What if I have a heart problem? I can’t die without tasting the wonders of Japan! 

Throughout the whole trip, our groupmates teased us because Changbin and I ended having a rendezvous. I feel like we all got closer through this trip, so I don’t understand why it’s only Changbin and me. I didn’t mind the teasing and smiled at Binnie from across the table. It didn’t bother me at all because I know that the person I like is Chan. 

When I came back from the school trip, Changbin was picked up by his driver in a fancy car. I gulped when I saw him look at me when he was entering their car. 

“Wh-what?”   
“Aren’t you going to get on?”   
“EH?!” 

“I’ll drop you off.” 

Before I could protest he already pulled me in. Aish...really...rich kids are at a different level. 

I was staring at the scenery as we pass by, it was then when I felt somebody staring at me. 

I looked back at Changbin’s direction and saw him scrolling through his phone.

The day Changbin dropped me off was the day Christopher and him met. Nothing really awkward, they exchanged pleasantries and were smiling towards each other. That’s a good thing, right? 

After I bid goodbye to Changbin. Chan was still looking at the direction Changbin left with a funny expression. I motioned for him to come in and stop looking ridiculous. 

Inside the house, I noticed that it was only me and Chan.    
“Where’s mum and dad?” I asked the older boy.    
“They’re going to come home late.”   
“Why are you here then? I don’t need a babysitter.” I pouted, Chris let out a snicker and ruffled my hair.    
“Sure you don’t.”    
“But-” Chan’s right tone suddenly and he picked it up.    
  
“Hello” he speaks on the phone, looks at me, then walks away to the kitchen. 

I stood there not knowing what to do. I’m not really curious, it’s just a phone call after all until I heard something that made me froze. 

“Sure. Sure. Tomorrow, let’s grab lunch together. Yeah,” I was startled at the next words “Yeah, love you too.” he lets out a sigh. 

I immediately run to my room. My body reacting before thinking things through. I stumbled a bit after missing a step but quickly regained my balance.I quickly closed my door and dialed someone’s number on my phone.    
  
“Hello?” A raspy voice answered at the other end of the line. 

I ended up being startled “Binnie?” 

 

“Why are you asking who I am!? You’re the one that called me,dork.” Truth be told, I didn’t see which contact I pressed. It was in the midst of panic, but I’m glad that my panicked self picked Changbin. 

“Is there anything wrong?” His voice laced with concern. “Is it about  _ him _ ?”

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” I avoided both questions. 

“Sure. What do you want to do tomorrow?”

“Just...something…”   
“You ask me out on a date but ask me to make plans?” his playful question is met by silence “All right. I got it.” his voice turned serious but gentle at the same time. 

“Thanks, Binnie.” I smiled. Somehow, I felt him smile on the other end of the line too.

* * *

Tomorrow came and I meet up with Changbin in the cafe we regularly hang out when we do projects because it’s only across from the city library. He shows up in a a red plaid long sleeved shirt, denim jeans,a cap, and his usual rubber shoes. 

“You look great as ever, Bin!” I say as I approach him. He looks up to me and smiles.

“You don’t look too bad either.” 

Ah, Binnie binnie is really reliable. My heart feels really comfortable and safe with him. He’s a very well mannered person even in small gestures. He thanks staff in restaurants when we leave, he makes sure I was at the inner side of the sidewalk, he put a jacket around me after I shivered slightly that one time, but one of the frustrating things is that I have to fight tooth and nail for him to allow me to pay for my half of the bill. 

“Hey, I’ll treat you today, okay?” 

“Bin-”

“No buts! You called me to cheer you up remember? The least you can allow me to do is to spoil you.” He smiled at me. His smile is soft and gentle. Warmth was present in his eyes and he touched my cheek. 

I inwardly freeze. He gave my cheek light pats. “Let’s go mochi cheeks.” 

Although I know that I invited Changbin out, my head was in the clouds this time. I couldn’t help thinking about Chan and his supposed date with his girlfriend. I mean- he told her _ I love you _ on the phone, a specialized ringtone, and he had to walk away from me indicating privacy. If it was Aunty, he would’ve put it on speaker so I can greet her as well. I felt jealousy bubble at the pit of my stomach. I can’t seem to help it.

Is this what love supposed to be? All I feel is jealousy. Maybe she’s the reason why Chan didn’t contact me a lot? Maybe she’s the reason why Chan looked distracted these days? He always been the busy body and never took care of himself. Sheesh! How well does she know him? How well can she take care of him? I’ve known him longer than her. I’m his special person. Obviously, I’m the one that should be by her side. 

He cares for me the most. When my brother left, he carried the responsibility of being my older brother. 

I know I shouldn’t be like this while out with Changbin, but Chan isn’t my only problem. There’s also some things that I can’t pinpoint whenever I’m around Mr. Seo. Everything is great. My mood is always good whenever we hang out. I enjoy just being with him even when it’s doing an academic project, in silence while completing homeworks, or talking in the cafe. Sometimes, I do feel awkward about how I look whenever we go out. That’s normal, right? After all, he dresses up well, so I don’t want to look like a beggar next to him. Our conversations are great and making plans together seem like a natural thing for the both of us. 

Sometimes my heart beats too fast or I get jumpy without knowing why. He’s also pointed out that my face reddens easily, but it must be the weather. 

  
  


I decide to let it be for now and actually pay attention to Changbin, that was until I caught a familiar figure in my peripheral vision. 

I see Chan and his girlfriend from across the street. His smile looked different from his usual ones. I froze. It took me a few minutes to organize my feelings. I heard Changbin shout my name. 

I didn't move. I couldn't move. Because that’s when it hit me.   
  
_ Why am I feeling this way?  _ **_CLICK. CLICK._ ** _ I heard noises in my head as things came together. All the thoughts I’ve been straining my head all morning finally clicked.  _   
  
Changbin spotted my frozen self from a distance.    
I must've looked like a fool because he instantly wrapped me in his arms, telling me not look at the happy couple. He knows a lot about me after all.    
  
I guess it's inevitable now. I can't escape this emotion. My chest is about to explode.    
  
I saw Chan and his girlfriend from across the street. It took me a few minutes to realize my feelings because it didn't hurt. That’s the initial shock.. Seeing him with another didn't hurt like I thought it would. It didn't feel like a thousand thorns was constricting around my heart, and when I saw him smile, I was happy for him because it was a different smile than normal. I was jealous, but I was jealous as a sibling. I was pampered by Chan since I was a child and depended on him a lot. I decided that I liked Chan long ago in middle school, when I heard stories about crushes and Chan just fit the bill. I didn’t know the deeper meaning of things back then. 

I heard Changbin’s voice and my heart sped up so fast I’m pretty sure it went over the world’s speed limit (apparently, Germany doesn’t have a speed limit). It felt like I was in a car crash, experiencing a severe whiplash, and my whole life flashing before my eyes. But instead of my life, I saw all the moments I spent with  _ him. _

I couldn’t move. I don’t know how to move anymore!! My heart was beating so fast in my chest I felt like everyone around me could hear how hard it’s beating. 

My face heated into the 445 known shades of red. 

I felt his arms wrapped around me. His warmth and scent enveloped me which didn’t help with my flushing. 

_ Thank god he can’t see my face right now. I don’t know how I’ll face him.  _

I felt his hot breath brush against my ear, I think he whispered something but I didn’t hear.I couldn’t help burying my face deeper in his chest to prevent him from seeing my embarrassed and panicking expression.

_ SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!It’s inevitable now. I don’t know how I’ll act from now on.  _

_ I can’t escape this emotion.  _

_ My chest is about to explode.  _

_ GOD HELP ME! _

_ I was thinking about the wrong person all along. Fuck.  _

_ I’m in love with Seo Changbin.  _

 


End file.
